Stop Being So Successful… You Asian People!

Picture Retreved from: http://ihatebeingeight.blogspot.com/2011/03/hate-1-piano-exams.html

Picture Retreved from: http://ihatebeingeight.blogspot.com/2011/03/hate-1-piano-exams.html

As a typical middle class Asian girl raised by a type-A tiger mom, I was tortured by the crazy education system in China and spoiled by my college in the U.S.. If you come from where I come from, you will find out that your mom won’t love you until you practice piano/violin! You secretly compete against another evil mysterious kid in your building who plays beautifully 25 hours a day 8 days a week just to make you look bad. You don’t even know if that kid was real!

Alright, I am kinda exaggerating here. I know that my mom loves me regardless, but there are so many other successful asian people out there who are workaholics. They work so hard because they are afraid that their mom/friends/family would quit loving them if they don’t do well. Lots of people out there stretch their bones to live up to the expectations. Since those workaholics were little, they were rewarded for their excellency, punished for having a life, trained to feel ashamed about themselves because of the famous saying 虚心使人进步,骄傲使人落后 (Modesty helps one go forward, whereas conceit makes you fucked up). It’s fucked up! Kids growing up that way will feel that they don’t deserve to be loved if they fail to be the best.asian blood type

I think excellency is good; living a meaningful and fruitful life is good; contributing to the society is good. But for my people out there, we need to change. There are at least couple things we could know:

1. Identify if you are one of the kids who were primarily judged by their excellency. If you were, know that you are more likely to choose a steady safe route in choosing your career. You always have had a big dream, but you don’t want to risk losing your identity. You are insecure about your excellency.

2. Pause, breathe, and stop being so successful. Yes, you are a good boy/girl for being an overachiever, but does your achievement align with your dream? Do you really want to become an investment banker? Do you really want to have a doctor degree? Are you even interested in political sciences? Do you care about the industry that you are working in? Do you care about your major?

3. Self-actualization is achieved by fulfilling your own dreams. You need to identify your interests and strengths first. A quick simple personality test might help you. Asking your friends, your boss, your students about what you are good at is also an effective way to learn about your strengths and potentials.

4. Map your life towards achieving your dream while still being excellent at something. Transit yourself into the right track. What is the right track? The one that your want really badly for the longest time. Life is short and unpredictable, but it is never too late to adjust your direction. You don’t have to turn 180 degree at once. You just need to turn 1 degree everyday to find the right angle.

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