Some Days You Shine, Some Days You Rain–We Need A User Manual of Ourselves

I believe that we all need to develop a User Manual for ourselves. We need to create a document and put it on Facebook, Google Drive, Sharepoint or Dropbox to share with our friends. We need that User Manual to teach other people how to correctly use us, deal with us, and help us. Most importantly, we need the User Manual very urgently for ourselves.

For example, I have a very bubbly and spunky personality. I shine when I am around people and entertain people. I rain when I don’t receive satisfaction from social interaction. I just moved to Northern Virginia 5 months ago to start my first job, as a business supplies sales professional. Imaging leaving all of your successes from college and working as a newbie sales person who receives rejections all day long.

Sometimes I would feel great for occasional successes. Sometimes I felt desperate. My self-doubt spiked and I felt depressed. I spent lots of weekends feeling like a loser. I watched lots of Netflix but would only feel more depressed afterwards.



All that time, all that time when I doubted myself and hated myself, I could have had a User Manual to look at.

It would have showed me that

  • “Rule Number Fifteen, Yoky sometimes hates herself and feels depressed when she doesn’t feel loved from social interactions.”
  • “Rule Number Sixteen, when feeling depressed, Yoky needs to go to events to meet new people and do fun things with friends.”
  • “Rule Number Seventeen, when Yoky doesn’t have many friends yet, go to do something nice for other people or volunteer for something.”
  • “Rule Number Eighteen, when Yoky has been very selfish, she needs to go to read her article about being less selfish .”

I will also put rules like :

  • “when in doubt about if i should take a shower or not, always take a shower.”
  • “when I receive a condescending smile or a rude comment from my potential clients, put dollar signs $$$$$ in front of my feelings…”
  • “when I feel ashamed of my poor performance, look at my peers and tell myself that nobody is on top of their game 100% of the time.”
  • “when I feel disappointed at the human kind, I need to think of three people who selflessly love me.”

The importance of creating this manual is to figure out the best things that you can do to help yourself. It takes a freaking scientist to make yourself stay relatively positive and relatively happy for a relatively long period of time. Without tracking, we would enjoy the shinny days when they come accidentally, and we might drown on rainy days when we are not prepared for those.

Why? It is because that feelings fade. Human brains have the tendency to dilute bad experiences and exaggerate good memories. That’s why people repeatedly let the same person/ incident hurt their feelings and give them crappy rainy days.

Let’s create a manual together for David XX, the manager of Xxx COMPANY:

manual chainsaw

  • “I tend to feel angry when my team don’t update the CRM system; I feel they don’t respect me as their manager because I have been telling them to update the system for couple months. I need to think of creative ways to motivate them and reward them when they don’t follow my direction.”
  • “I tend to feel great when my employees tell me that I am doing a great job as a manager. I need to encourage my teammates motiving me too.”

Let’s create a manual for Susan, a mom:

  • “I tend to feel furious when my husband doesn’t do dishes. I often do something negative to passive aggressively give him hints of my anger. I need to create a motivation system and talk about it with him.”
  • “I tend to feel trapped when my husband complain about my long hours of work. I often keep it to myself but would feel 100% better if I set a time with them and talk about it.”
  • “I tend to become very impatient when my son challenges me in front of other moms. I lose my temper and don’t give him a chance to speak for him-selves. I need to do ___ next time as i learnt that skill from parenting classes.”

I think that it is important to create a User Manual because we are like calculators.

Instead of letting other people press our buttons, why don’t we press the buttons on our own and get the result that we want? Why don’t we teach other people what buttons to press when we are too weak to press on our own? Why don’t we teach other people not to press certain buttons that could potentially mess up our system?

Let’s write a User Manual together and read it during the rainy days.

Share this to help your friends and yourself live a little smarter and happier. :)








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